i'm falling.. not failing..

Assalamualaikum..

actually ada banyak benda yg aku nak bebel kat sini.. tapi disebabkan kesibukan yg memang x boleh nak dielakkan, dan ditambah lagi dengan kurangnya mood untuk menaip, maka blog ni pun terbiar macam tu je.. kesian kau blog..

sekarang ni nak kata free tu xdelah free sangat pun sebab masih dalam proses nak siapkan thesis.. fyp pun macam tak berapa nak settle lagi.. x lama lagi pulak dah nak exam.. tapi memandangkan sekarang ni aku tengah dalam mood untuk menaip, so aku nak update jugak la blog ni..

well, just nak update sikit pasal entry yg sblum ni.. yes, this one.. aku rasa kan.. maybe.. and just maybe okay, sebab aku pun x sure sebenarnya.. maybe my feelings for that guy sekarang dah melangkah one step further.. yes, i think now i'm beginning to fall for him (i mean i''m beginning to have a serious feeling for him) and while i'm writing this, aku rasa aku dah x boleh nak reverse balik dah.. bak kata pasha dan rossa, aku terlanjur cinta kepadanya.. adeih..

yeah, i know.. cepat gler perasaan tu develop kan??.. but i just can't help it.. maybe sebab kitorang selalu sangat spend time together kat alam maya ni kot, that's why.. tapi kan, actually aku pun masih x brapa sure whether this is really love or just mainan perasaan je.. yela, aku mana la pernah feeling2, falling2, jatuh2 ni.. (crush is not included okay..) jatuh tangga pernah la kot.. hee..

tapi yg pastinya, i'm really happy bila bersama dengan dia (i mean masa chatting dgn dia) and he always makes me smile even waktu tu aku tgh bad mood sgt2.. he makes me really happy walaupun hanya dengan buat lawak bodo selamba je..

(will he catch me..??)

contohnya ada satu hari tu, aku memang tension gila terbabas and xde mood langsung.. aku pun x ingat kenapa aku bad mood hari tu.. tapi bila aku dpt mesej dari dia, automatik mood aku jadi okey.. hilang terus segala rasa tension yg aku rasa sebelum tu.. and sumtimes bila dia x online sebab busy dgn kerja dia, aku rasa sunyi sesangat.. (rindu kot.. ahahaha..)

seriously, aku xtau how this thing can happen.. it's just too suddenly.. and unexpected.. btul la kot kata org, love comes when you least expect it.. aku memang x pernah expect yg aku akan fall for that guy.. and aku memang tak pernah sekali pun terfikir yang aku akan tersuka kat seseorang kat alam maya.. in fact sebelum ni aku tak pernah percayakan siapa-siapa langsung kat alam maya..

perkenalan kitorang dulu actually just kebetulan je.. yela, dah nama pun berkenalan melalui alam maya kan, of coz la it was unexpected, tak dirancang pun.. and actually masa awal2 perkenalan dulu, aku dgn dia memang x sekepala.. in fact perkenalan kitorang bermula dengan suatu perbalahan kecik tp ntah macam mana tiba2 je boleh bertukar menjadi sebuah friendship.. it's quite funny bila ingat balik.. but those memories were really sweet though..

mungkin ada yg rasa aku ni 'too easy' sebab senang sangat tersuka kat lelaki tu walaupun baru sangat kenal and x pernah jumpa.. yes, i admit that maybe aku memang agak mudah utk tertarik pd seseorg.. kalau x caya, cuba korg buat baik sikit kat aku + guna ayat cantik2 sikit = tengok la apa jadi.. confirm aku tergoda.. hahaha.. (ok, aku tipu.. actually i don't think that i'm that easy.. i'm just easily attracted to certain kind of people only..)

tapi macam yg aku pernah kata, we spend a lot of times together (almost everyday kitorang chat online and ntah how many hours per day), so we became closer and closer each day, and now, even though baru nk dekat sebulan, kitorang dah semakin kenal antara satu sama lain.. tapi walau macam mana pun, aku masih tetap berwaspada.. aku sentiasa ingatkan diri aku supaya not to trust him too much and jgn tlalu ikutkn perasaan sgt.. so i just keep the feelings to myself..

well, that's the best way i think.. lagipun aku xtau apa perasaan dan pandangan dia terhadap aku.. yup, aku dgn dia memang dah agak rapat, dan dia pun semakin hari semakin rajin mengusik aku.. kalau online je mesti aku je yg dia cari dulu, macam dah takde kawan lain.. tapi maybe dia just anggap aku as a close friend ataupun maybe just like a little sister je.. or maybe i'm nobody pun to him, just teman chat biasa-biasa je.. huhu..

tapi aku tak kisah pun kalau dia anggap aku kawan je.. sebab aku memang x mengharap sangat pun yg dia akan ada perasaan yg sama pada aku.. yela, aku sedar, siapa la aku kan, just a plain, boring girl yg kuat berangan lagi perasan.. heee.. tapi kalau ada kan best.. tak la aku bertepuk sebelah tangan lagi untuk kesekian kalinya.. hehe..

erm, aku rasa lagu ni memang sangat kena dan sesuai la kot dgn keadaan aku skarang ni..

Falling for You by Colbie Caillat

I don’t know

But I think I maybe

Fallin’ for you

Dropping so quickly

Maybe I should keep this to myself

Waiting ’til I know you better

I am trying not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here

And you hold my hand

Pull me towards you

And we start to dance

All around us

I see nobody

Here in silence

It’s just you and me

I’m trying not to tell you

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say

So I’m hiding what I’m feeling

But I’m tired of

Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it

My heart is racing

The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time

Just thinking about you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’ve been waiting all my life

And now I found you

I don’t know what to do

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it

I want you all around me

And now I just can’t hide it

I think I’m fallin’ for you

I'm fallin' for you

p/s: kadang-kadang kita tak sedar bila sesuatu berlaku tapi bila kita sedar, kita tak tau apa sebenarnya yg sedang berlaku..